Dolma Lama: From Daughter to Mother
Dolma Lama is a well-known television artist of Nepal, who also played the role of Phurwa’s mother in the first episode of Katha Mitho Sarangiko. Dolma in her real life has faced lots of ups and downs as a struggling woman. Born in a remote village of Helambu in Northern mountain region of the country, her life stories can be inspiration to many people. Dolma has given an interview for the magazine program of the KMS, Sarangiko Bhalakusari. Here is some excerpt from the interview, in her words:
“I am going to tell the truth about my real life. In the very early age I came to Kathmandu from my village to work as a labourer in a carpet factory. While weaving the carpets in the factory people told me that I could never make money with such a job. They suggested I go to India to find some work. Jammu Kashmir region was very popular among migrant workers at that time. At the age of 15, I went to Jammu to work as a road construction labourer. While I was there, I found a guy. I liked him. He proposed marriage. He said if I did not get married to him he would leave me and go to another place. He was helping me to find work there. I was so afraid of losing my job if he left me. I was very young at that time. I did not know about right and wrong. So at that early age I got married with that guy fearing I would lose the job if I did not marry.
MARRYING YOUNG
But after the marriage I started realizing that marriage needs lots of understanding between a boy and a girl. I started regretting about getting married in a hurry. My husband was quite a lot older than me. There was a lack of understanding as well. Still I loved him. We were doing well for a few years. But we were very poor. Because of poverty there would be misunderstanding and quarrels about small things. He used to get angry over small things and often beat me. I stayed with him until I was 29. But everything has got its limit. I could not tolerate the violence and harassment anymore. Then I decided to leave him. I told him that we cannot go on living like this. We agreed that we can live apart. Then we left each other in a kind of understanding.
MY CHILDHOOD
I was really happy to be a part of the drama. Though I acted in many video programs in the past, this is a new experience for me. I was born in Helambu. My childhood was spent in a typical farming village. I used to work hard in the farm, going to the forest to collect grass and firewood, carrying heavy loads of water and crops. The role I played in the drama, reminded me of my childhood and my mother.
DAUGHTERS AND MOTHERS
In the drama I support my daughter against my husband. In the real life also, there is same kind of situation. Fathers are always sceptical about the behaviours of their daughter. They are more worried about daughters. But there are many things daughters and mothers have in common. Daughters are closer to their mothers. They share more with their mothers than their fathers. They get afraid of their fathers and so do not communicate well.
In the drama Phurwa decides for herself whom she marries. The first thing to remember is that people in the village are not educated. They don’t have schools in the village. They don’t know many things about people and places. Parents force their daughters to get married with somebody they like. But girls and boys do not know each other in such cases and their married life can be difficult.
PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE
I am in favour of love marriages. Because boys and girls get a chance to understand each other and are then capable of deciding their own fate. In the drama Phurwa gets married to Harke, but later their marriage fails. Phurwa only see Harke from the outside. She should have looked inside his heart and mind as well. It is very necessary before marriage for a boy and girl to spend a couple of months together to understand each other. It is not good idea to get married just because of infatuation. The culture of getting married to a Lahure (somebody who has returned from military service abroad) widely prevails in the rural community. People think that the Lahure is rich and can make girls happy.
THE FUTURE
Now I have got three daughters and a son. I am worried about their future. I am giving much time to my children for their education and future planning. Besides the family, I do other things like acting and singing for money making. At the moment I am preparing to release a music album. I have already sung in nearly a dozen of music albums.
I am really happy to be in this program to share some of my experience and feelings. I am also thankful to all the audience who are listening me.
“I am going to tell the truth about my real life. In the very early age I came to Kathmandu from my village to work as a labourer in a carpet factory. While weaving the carpets in the factory people told me that I could never make money with such a job. They suggested I go to India to find some work. Jammu Kashmir region was very popular among migrant workers at that time. At the age of 15, I went to Jammu to work as a road construction labourer. While I was there, I found a guy. I liked him. He proposed marriage. He said if I did not get married to him he would leave me and go to another place. He was helping me to find work there. I was so afraid of losing my job if he left me. I was very young at that time. I did not know about right and wrong. So at that early age I got married with that guy fearing I would lose the job if I did not marry.
MARRYING YOUNG
But after the marriage I started realizing that marriage needs lots of understanding between a boy and a girl. I started regretting about getting married in a hurry. My husband was quite a lot older than me. There was a lack of understanding as well. Still I loved him. We were doing well for a few years. But we were very poor. Because of poverty there would be misunderstanding and quarrels about small things. He used to get angry over small things and often beat me. I stayed with him until I was 29. But everything has got its limit. I could not tolerate the violence and harassment anymore. Then I decided to leave him. I told him that we cannot go on living like this. We agreed that we can live apart. Then we left each other in a kind of understanding.
MY CHILDHOOD
I was really happy to be a part of the drama. Though I acted in many video programs in the past, this is a new experience for me. I was born in Helambu. My childhood was spent in a typical farming village. I used to work hard in the farm, going to the forest to collect grass and firewood, carrying heavy loads of water and crops. The role I played in the drama, reminded me of my childhood and my mother.
DAUGHTERS AND MOTHERS
In the drama I support my daughter against my husband. In the real life also, there is same kind of situation. Fathers are always sceptical about the behaviours of their daughter. They are more worried about daughters. But there are many things daughters and mothers have in common. Daughters are closer to their mothers. They share more with their mothers than their fathers. They get afraid of their fathers and so do not communicate well.
In the drama Phurwa decides for herself whom she marries. The first thing to remember is that people in the village are not educated. They don’t have schools in the village. They don’t know many things about people and places. Parents force their daughters to get married with somebody they like. But girls and boys do not know each other in such cases and their married life can be difficult.
PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE
I am in favour of love marriages. Because boys and girls get a chance to understand each other and are then capable of deciding their own fate. In the drama Phurwa gets married to Harke, but later their marriage fails. Phurwa only see Harke from the outside. She should have looked inside his heart and mind as well. It is very necessary before marriage for a boy and girl to spend a couple of months together to understand each other. It is not good idea to get married just because of infatuation. The culture of getting married to a Lahure (somebody who has returned from military service abroad) widely prevails in the rural community. People think that the Lahure is rich and can make girls happy.
THE FUTURE
Now I have got three daughters and a son. I am worried about their future. I am giving much time to my children for their education and future planning. Besides the family, I do other things like acting and singing for money making. At the moment I am preparing to release a music album. I have already sung in nearly a dozen of music albums.
I am really happy to be in this program to share some of my experience and feelings. I am also thankful to all the audience who are listening me.
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